In the memory of two beautiful souls.

On new year’s eve, I was in a children’s ambulance travelling from one hospital to another. That was the most fascinating event of that week for me. By midnight, while the city celebrated, my two new room-mates and I were in our beds trying to get as much sleep as we could. We had not met each other, coz by the time I was moved into my room (for the next 6 days), they were both asleep.

The next morning, we met very briefly. I realized that when you are in a hospital bed, you are not very chatty. And I also realized that you don’t need to talk to feel each other’s pain. Uncertainty, helplessness, pain and fear were what all three of us felt, and family did not quite feel it the same way. That was our connection and we saw it in each other’s eyes.

The girl opposite me was Haleemeh, an Iranian born and bred here, just like myself. She was only 28 years old, suffering with leukemia and been living in hospitals since 10 months. She was a very quiet girl, playing games on her cell phone most times. She had big beautiful eyes and a very sweet smile. Her sisters took turns to stay with her. Soon mom got along with all of them like they grew up together.

The girl next to me was Sansan. She was a Burmese girl who came down to Dubai to work at a hypermarket as a vegetable packer. She spoke only Burmese. They weren't quite sure what she suffered from, but she wasn’t getting any better. She was the same age as Haleemeh and was all alone in Dubai. Her family could not afford to travel to be with her, and her employer could not send her back because of some hospital/Airline responsibility issues. A colleague named Suhana was staying with her at the hospital. She spoke hindi, and thankfully the rest of us could communicate with Sansan through her. Sansan was like an angel. She smiled and suddenly the day was better. She played Buddhist chants every night and put us to sleep.

We met each other’s visitors like they were our own, took turns to play music, laughed at my mom’s jokes, shared chai, sat in the dark when any one of us needed the lights off and prayed to the Lord to have mercy when one of us cried in pain. These are some strange bonds that you don’t expect to make in a lifetime.

I was discharged 6 days later and I left the hospital on my feet, excited to go back home. I hoped my room-mates would feel what I felt going home. I prayed for them before I slept every night, sent them healing and went to visit them 2 weeks later. Sadly they were both worse than before and were fast asleep. They didn’t meet me. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe seeing me doing well would dishearten them someway.

Its 35 days since I left the hospital, and in this past week, both Haleeme and Sansan passed away. I got Haleeme’s news a couple of days back. My parents were not sure if I could handle the stress and had kept it from me for a week. Her death was shocking, since I didn’t have any news of her. Sansan I kept getting news since Suhana was in constant touch. In the past 35days, Sansans condition deteriorated. Her organs stopped functioning one after the other. She could not see or hear anything towards the end. At 3pm today she breathed her last breathe.

I bawled. I could not stop crying after the call. Why did I meet these girls during their final stage in this world? Why did I connect with them? Why did I get well and leave, but not them. So many questions but no answers at all.

I don’t know if this makes any sense, but while I am grateful for what I have had, I felt guilty suddenly for being luckier than both of them. I got well and left while they got worse by the day. My disease and pain was so incomparable to theirs. I had my mom n dad with me every single day. Haleemeh had lost her parents and Sansan was far away from all family, in a country distant from anything familiar. I had friends and family who visited me every single day just to cheer me up, no one visited Sansan. Thankfully Haleemeh had family who still visited her. I could eat whatever I wanted to, they couldn't even do that.

.
 I celebrated my new year’s eve with these two angels. I cannot get over this. I know deep down, that there was a reason I was put in that room with those two beautiful souls. I hope I realize what that was soon.

God works in mysterious ways. Their suffering has ended, but so have their lives.

If you are reading this, then I request you to send a prayer to their families. Siblings who suddenly lost their younger sister Haleemeh, and a family back in Burma who were looking forward to their daughter, Sansan’s return, and are now expecting her lifeless body.

Friends, Life is short! These girls were in their twenties. Add some love to your days. Don’t be so mechanical. Tell your family and friends you love them, don’t assume they already know, hug each other without a reason. Forgive and let go of grudges. Just imagine it’s the last time you are meeting everyone you meet, and tell them what you would tell them, if it were really the last time you were meeting them.

Wake up and live your life! B'coz you know what, it ends suddenly, without warning. Poof!!

.  

February 2014